TheDareClub's Note to Parents

For Parents and Schools:

We wanted to make sure that parents had a little information to help them choose the right sites for their kids, and to give them some tools to help their kids help themselves to be safe on the internet. So in these sections we will address the parents concerns and hopefully answer their questions.

TheDareClub and other similar sites are designed to allow people to share their creativity, videos, pictures, and information with others. TheDareClub features "dares" that are positive in nature and generally focus on building confidence, community / social skills, environmental awareness, education of vast subjects, and having fun. Sometimes people visit these sites to find friends. Sometimes they do it to find friends with similar interest. This is all fine, however, l let's make sure they are safe and protected.

TheDareClub understands this, and tries to dissuade anyone less than 13 years of age from using their website. Unfortunately, while they may set rules to keep younger kids off the site, they can't prevent kids from lying about their age, pretending to be 13 years of age or older. Along with their own Content Review program, TheDareClub uses the reports of other members and site visitors, pointing out suspicious pages or under-age users. It's not perfect, but it does help to find many underage members.

We can't always tell if someone is lying about their age, However, TheDareClub tries to keep them off their site. If you discover that your child is posing as someone older and using their site, you have two choices. You can have the site taken down, or you can supervise what they are posting and doing online. It's important to both the kids and TheDareClub that you help maintain your child's safety while online.

If you find out that your underage child has an account with TheDareClub you have a few choices. However,No matter which one applies in your case, you should take advantage of this opportunity to review their page first. You might be surprised (It might give you some insight on your kid).

If they haven't posted anything to put them at risk, and aren't communicating with strangers, GREAT! While parents freak out (understandably) at the provocative images and wild language used by some online users, most of the teens don't see them or pay attention to them. They are here as a call to "action", and to show off their creativity, self-expression, to communicate with their offline friends, and earn some great stuff. As long as they are old enough to understand the rules and adhere to them, (you are never too young to learn about respect, responsibility, and courage in my opinion), and as long as you keep an eye on what they are doing, posting and how they are communicating with others, it's YOUR choice as to whether they keep their site up or not. (Make sure that you don't become a self-appointed "cyber-cop", reporting other people's kids for posting underage until you speak with their parents first!)

If you find that they are saying and posting inappropriate things or those comments don't seem to conform to their otherwise good offline behavior, sit down…and take a breath. Think about how our parents would have reacted if they could have seen or heard everything we said to our friends when no adult was around (Fact is, your kids have another life outside your eye sight). I guarantee that they would have been almost as shocked as many parents are about what their kids are posting online.

Also, remember that many of the things your kids are saying are being said to impress their audience and are often not true. (Luckily!)

Yes, many times they are just bragging about stuff they have not even done. However, the important thing for you to understand and to explain to your child is that "This information goes out to MILLIONS of people", and can not be taken back. This is what some kids fail to get. So, while you shouldn't panic, you should take quick action if your kids are posting personal information in a public forum, such as TheDareClub, or communicating with strangers online, or any other site for that matter.

You can learn more about how to help them surf and communicate safely at such websites as:

If you fear that they are communicating with strangers, or even thinking about meeting them offline, (Lock them in their room! Just kidding.), have them visit KatiesPlace.org to learn how Internet predators operate. It may help scare them safe. If you fear that they are being cyberbullied, check out our Stopcyberbullying.org page, or have them contact us to report abuse.

With that being said, here's how you can have their page removed from TheDareClub:

With your child's Login Information

Click here to send us your request.

Please include the member user name, the original email address used to start the membership, the member number (if you have it), the first and last name of the member, the first and last name of the parent, and the parent's phone number and/or email address in case we need contact you for further verification.

Without your child's Login Information

Click here to send us your request.

How do you know if your child has a profile at TheDareClub?

The best way to find out if your child has a profile on this or another similar site is to ask them. If you're not sure that your child is being honest with you, you can search most sites by using their e-mail address, or by searching for their school. (You click on "search" and enter their email address or full name in the appropriate search box.) If you find that your child has a profile on the website, you should review it. It's amazing how much you can learn about your child by reading their profiles. Does it contain personal information, such as their full name, address or phone numbers? Has your child posted photos? Are they photos of themselves or someone else? Are they sharing poems they write or provocative comments about themselves or others?

Ask them why they created the profile. You might learn that they wanted to share their thoughts with others, make new friends or even allow others in their school to get to know them better. But not all of their motives are as noble or safe. Some may be interested in meeting new romantic interests or role-playing inappropriately online. And when a young preteen lies about their age posing as a seventeen year old at the site, it can be a serious problem. Others in their late teens might approach your child thinking they were older. That's bad for everyone.

If you discover that your child is posting provocative comments or inappropriate images online, it's time for the "tough talk". The one about stranger dangers and how that cute eighteen year old boy they meet online may not be cute; may not be eighteen; and may not be a boy. (Parents of young boys need to understand that their children are equally at risk. About one-third of the cases of Internet sexual exploitation are men exploiting boys.) Our children need to realize that there are real risks relating to meeting strangers offline, including murder. The first confirmed murder victim by an Internet sexual predator was thirteen when she died, four years ago May 2002. The risks are real, not matter how smart, sophisticated or tech savvy your kids are.

It's not easy raising children anymore. It is even harder when the parent is expected to be expert in Internet, cell phone and interactive game risks, and even the text messaging "Decoder". The good thing is that you're not facing these challenges alone. There is so much information out there to help. You just have to take some time and do a little research, and oh yeah, and TALK TO YOUR KIDS.

Just remember that while your kids may know more than you do about technology, you know more about life. And you are allowed to set the rules and enforce them. You're still the parent! There is software you can install that will record what your kids say and post online. There is even one that will e-mail you reports at work. The ones I like best are made by Spectorsoft, and can be found at spectorsoft.com. But don't use them just to spy on your kids. Treat them like a security video camera in the corner of a bank. No one views the tapes unless and until there is a break-in. Do the same here. Check the program reports if something goes wrong. It will collect whatever you need for evidence and to help your child if something goes wrong.

Also, check your parental control programs. Many, such as AOL's and MSN's, can block access to social-networking websites or other sites you think are inappropriate for your younger child. There are many other products you can purchase to block sites as well. (Check out software4parents.com to learn about and purchase some of these.) Just remember that the best filter is the one between your children's ears. Let's help them to take responsible action.

If your child is being bullied by another TheDareClub user online, check the terms of service first. If the bullying violates TheDareClub terms of service, contact us and the offending comments and/or profile will be removed. If something serious occurs and you need to reach out to law enforcement, let them know that TheDareClub has created a special procedure for law enforcement inquiries, especially when the safety and well-being of its site users is involved. Cyberbullying is a growing problem. You can learn more about it, as well as how to prevent and handle cyberbullying incidents, at StopCyberbullying.org and InternetSuperheroes.org.

If schools are looking for a presentation or program to address their students' posting inappropriate profiles or using these websites while underage or other parent concerns, please contact us. Schools may find many of their students using a particular website. If the students are under 13, please notify TheDareClub's help staff and their profiles will be removed as soon as they can be reviewed. Working together with schools and parents, we may be able to keep our kids off of website that are inappropriate for young children and teach them to make good choices online and offline.

If you have other questions, contact us.

Have a fantastic day,

Bruce Boyd II
CEO & Youth Mentor
TheDareClub.com